


I'm straight... but there's this guy

by MiriamMT



Series: Smut Gallavich OS [24]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Bottom Mickey Milkovich, First Meetings, First Time, Gay Sex, M/M, Mickey Milkovich Being an Idiot, Mickey Milkovich is Bad at Feelings, POV First Person, POV Mickey Milkovich, Sexuality Crisis, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:21:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22787089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiriamMT/pseuds/MiriamMT
Summary: "You had sex how many times?... yeah that's not technically a bromance"OrMickey being an adorable blind dumbass who is having totally straight sex with "just a friend"
Relationships: Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich
Series: Smut Gallavich OS [24]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1550053
Comments: 6
Kudos: 172





	I'm straight... but there's this guy

**Author's Note:**

> I'm usually not a fan of first person pov, but I think it's fitting for this story.

So, I'm straight.  
Mickey Milkovich, 23 years old, one sister, two brothers, piece of shit for a father, normal straight guy.  
I live in Chicago, in a small, run-down apartment that I share with a roommate, we don't talk a lot. His name is Dave.

I'm not really into socialising, but I let Dave drag me to a party of a friend of his.  
On this party I wanted to get some fresh air at some point and stepped outside - deciding to have a smoke instead.  
I stood outside the house of Dave's friend and contemplated going home soon, when the door opened and someone else came outside.

"Hey, can I bum a smoke?", the other person asked.  
I turned around to him, a young man around my age, tall, red hair stood there.  
"Sure", I said and gave him a cigarette, I lit it for him, and he smiled "Thanks. Never seen you around before, friend of Lip's?"  
"Lips?"  
The man chuckled, "Lip, my brother. This is our house, his party..."  
"Oh, no, my roommate Dave dragged me here."

He smirked, "Yeah, I know Dave, he's a friend of my brothers... well, customer is the right word, I guess. I'm Ian, by the way."  
"Mickey", I just said.

I must admit, I found him strangely attractive since that moment, interesting.  
We made fast buddies after this, it came to my attention rather quickly, that he was gay, but I didn't mind, and we never made a big deal out of the information.

We hung out a lot, mostly at my place, we like the same music, the same movies, hanging out is easy and nice, we just have a good time together.

The first sign that something was different was when we went to the gym together. I saw him naked under the showers - I didn't look on purpose!  
But the sight did turn me on like crazy. I was at least semi hard and lucky, that I was already wearing pants. Imagine, a guy having a visible erection in the male locker room - yeah, I think I can save me that beatdown.

Still, I'm straight.  
Ian just happens to be attractive in my eyes, he is a good friend, a cool guy.  
I'm sure every straight guy experiences this once in a while, right?

So now, I'm over at his house, we are alone, what is rare at his place.  
We are watching a movie, I notice that we are sitting pretty closely together on his couch.  
I look over to him and back to the screen for the millionth time now and I can see him smirking, as if he notices it.

We are sitting so closely together, that our arms touch and our hands lie side by side on the couch. I bite my lip, I look down at his hand.  
He is attractive, his arms, his shoulders, his body, even his hands.  
I'm straight but somehow, I want to hold his hand.

After pushing the thought around in my head for several minutes, I just move my hand an inch, so our little fingers meet, he doesn't move. I put just my little finger over his, no big deal, this way I can still talk myself out of this by saying, it was an accident.

But Ian turns his hand around an takes my hand in his, intertwining our fingers.  
Still just an accident.

Honestly, I have no idea why we are doing this, but neither of us pulls away, so we just kind of stay like this for several minutes.

He sits so closely, I can feel the warmth radiating off his body. I have the image of him in the showers in my head.  
I glance over to him and he looks at me too, almost shily - what is odd because if there is one thing Ian Gallagher is not, it's shy.

We look at each other at the same time and he just kind of smirks. I look at him and don't look away, too compelled by his smirk.  
I notice Ian coming closer, he is leaning in, isn't he? Is he? My mind fills with a hundred question at once while Ian is leaning in, but I lean in too and our lips meet in the middle.

It is the most innocent kiss I ever had.  
But after the first few shy seconds, Ian scoots closer and I bring my hand up into his hair.  
We kiss passionately, hungrily. I can feel, that he wants me.  
We make out on his couch, his lips on mine feel phenomenal.  
He deepens the kiss and I let him stick his tongue into my mouth.  
Making out with him isn't so different than it's with girls. It's a bit rougher, more demanding. Ian knows what he wants from me and he shows it and it turns me on.

He pushes me back on the couch and lies on top of me.  
I run my hand through his red hair, I feel his hands roaming over my body.  
I want him.

Eventually, he stops and gets up from me. I look at him confused, he just smirks, takes my hand and drags me upstairs to his room.  
I am nervous. This is actually happening. We are going to his room.

Ian closes the door and pushes me on the bed. We kiss again.  
"I want you Mick", he whispers breathlessly and kisses down my neck, "Have you ever been with a guy before?"  
"No", I whisper back, I'm straight, I never did anything with a guy before. Especially not butt sex, and I really don't feel ready or prepared for him to stick his dick up my ass right now - even though I have to admit the sheer thought of it turns me on.

"We can start slow", Ian assures me as if he could read my mind, "We don't have to go all the way today."  
That indicates that this wouldn't be one time thing and honestly, I'm down for that.

I nod and pull him into the kiss again. I let my hands wander over his back until I find the end of his shirt and let my hands slip underneath it. I pull his shirt off him and he frees me from mine in a matter of minutes.  
We are full blown making out, I am hard, and I really just want to touch him and kiss him. I have no idea what was actually going to happen now. Am I supposed to give him a blowjob? Do I even know how to do that? I mean, girls did blow me before but that doesn't mean I know how to do it myself on another man.

Ian kisses a line down from my neck over my body, he trails his tongue around my nipple and works his way down to my pants.  
He opens them and pulls them down from my legs, my mind is blank.  
I sit up and open his pants too. We are both hard. I can see the outline of his cock through his tight underwear. Holy fuck.

His whole body is toned, pale skin smoothly over tight muscles, I've already seen him in the gym, but this is different. On a woman's body I would have never found this attractive, but Ian somehow just turned me on in every sense.

Eventually we lie on top of each other naked, kissing deeply, his hands on my body. He rubs our dicks together between us.  
I moan lowly against his lips, pulling him closer, pushing my body against his.  
I want him.

He disconnects our lips and moves further down, he smirks at me when he lowers himself between my legs. He takes my dick into his hand and starts jerking me off while he holds eye contact with me.  
I've never felt such a connection with anyone I slept with before, how can a look be so intense?  
I do my best to not break eye contact, but eventually he wraps his lips around my tip, and I close my eyes, I bite my bottom lip and try to hold in a moan.

Ian bobs his head up and down, taking my cock into his mouth further every time, he looks up at me while he let my dick disappear between his lips. He has one hand wrapped around the base of my cock and the other one plays with my balls. I run a hand through his red hair.

I feel his tongue swirling around my tip. Everything he does, every small movement feels incredibly good. I didn't feel like this pretty much since my first blowjob I ever received.

When he stops I almost fucking whimper, because I want him to keep going forever.  
He puts his lips on my inner thigh and starts sucking. My breath hitches.  
He comes back up and kisses me wild and horny.

By now, I'm eager to return the favour, I want us to come together and I want to be the one who makes him come. I want to suck his dick, I want to try it, know what it feels like to have a cock in your mouth.

I push him down on the mattress so I'm the one hovering over him.  
I kiss him hard and impatiently, he kisses back just as impatient. I rub our dicks together, wrap a hand around both of them and jerk us up together so his spit is covering both our dicks.

I go down on him until I have his cock in front of me, I grasp him.  
He feels thick and heavy in my hand, it's a strange new feeling but I like it.  
I dart my tongue out and lick the underside of his cock from base to tip and wrap my lips around him, I suck on his tip lightly and already get a low moan from the ginger.

The sound turns me on.  
I take As much of him in as I can and start bopping my head up and down, sucking and drooling on his cock, I jerk the lower half with my hand and hollow my cheeks out. I swallow around him.

I would almost say that this is fun. I like this.

After several minutes of Ian's sweet moans, he pulls me up to him again and kisses me hard but passionate. Our dicks rub together between us.  
He rolls us around so I'm underneath him again and grasps our dicks with both hands and jerks us off at the same time.

I put my hand into his red hair, slightly pull on the roots. I push my body closer on his. Everything he does feels good and I want more.

He playfully bites my bottom lip before kissing down my cheek and my neck again, he sucks on my neck and hummed contently when I moaned lowly.

Eventually we come almost at the same time. Holy fuck.  
We make a mess between us, but I don't care because he kisses me again and I never want something different ever again.

We both lie next to each other panting. Ian eventually chuckles and turns to the side and kisses my shoulder.

"Next time I get on that ass" he whispers and honestly, I can't wait, "I mean, if you're a bottom at all."  
"Oh" I say, "Never thought about that. Just thought about you fucking me not the other way around."  
Ian smiles, "Then you're probably a bottom. That's good news for me.", he kissed my cheek.  
"Yeah, for you maybe" I said and looked at his flattening dick, "I have to put that thing into my ass."

Ian laughs and kisses me again, "You wanna spend the night here? I could order us some pizza."  
"Sure"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
The next morning, I wake up in Ian's bed.  
I smell coffee and feel lips on my cheek.

"Mickey, wake up" I hear Ian whisper softly.  
I just groan in response. I have no idea what time it is but it's definitely too early.

"I made you coffee"  
I slowly open my eyes and see Ian sitting on the bed fully clothed - sadly, I might add - a mug of coffee in his hand.

I sit up and reach for the coffee. Ian smiles as he gives it to me.  
"You're wearing clothes." I point out.  
"I have to go to work soon."  
"You throw me out, huh?"  
"Kinda, except if you want to stay here alone with my siblings."  
"No thanks", I mumble, "Okay, just let me drink this and then I'll be gone."

Ian nods and smiles at me.  
"Last night was great." He says, "You can ring me up any time to do that again."

I look at him. We are friends, very good friends, I like him around me. I don't want him to not be my friend anymore just because we added a sexual component to it yesterday.  
I nod, "But I can also still ring you up for movies and games, right?"  
"Sure Mick" he grins, "Netflix and chill or movies and games, I'm your man"  
I chuckle, and he leans in to kiss me again.

Last night was honestly better than any sex I ever had with a girl even though my experience in that area is rather limited.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few days later I and my roommate Dave sit on the couch and play something on his PlayStation.

"Hey, can I ask you something without it being weird?"  
"I'm saying it again, I'm not helping you to bury a body, call your family for that shit."  
"Something different."  
"Then shoot."

I hesitate. This was something very private after all and I wasn't known for sharing everything with random people. I and Dave don't talk a lot, but I guess I would consider us almost something like friends.

"Are you gonna ask or what?", Dave chuckled.  
I roll my eyes.  
"You're like... bi, right?"  
"Yeah"  
"So you already had sex with guys."  
"Plenty."  
"Top or bottom?"

Dave stares at me.  
"For the record, it just got weird. Why the fuck do you care about my sex life suddenly?"  
"I don't. Not about yours. Just have a general question, so did you ever... You know, take a dick up the ass?"

Dave shrugged, "Yeah."  
I nod, "How do you like... isn't it dirty? In a not good way?"  
Dave stares at me and suddenly starts laughing.

"What?" I ask annoyed.  
"Nothing, just... oh man, why do you need to know that?"  
"How is that any of your business?"  
"Well, you asked me. So, you wanna know how to get all clean enough for someone special to eat you out?"  
"Eat me out?" I look at him with raised eyebrows, "What, no! Do gay guys do that?"  
"Yes, and it feels good.", he grins and gets his phone out, he types something into his phone and after a few minutes tucks the phone away again.

"I sent you a video on YouTube, they explain how you do it.", he grins and shakes his head.  
"Thanks" I mumble.  
"But don't get the idea to use my douche, got it?"  
"Your what?"  
He chuckles "Just watch the video."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~\~~~~~

So, after watching the video I decided too, to not use Dave's douche.  
I texted Ian to get here fifteen minutes ago.

Finally, someone knocks on the door.  
I open the door for Ian to come inside.  
"Hey" he grins.  
"Hey" I say, not sure how to approach the topic that is on my mind for a whole week now.

Ian smirks and leans down to peck my lips.  
I smile involuntarily.

"So, did you ask me over for Netflix and chill or for movies and videogames?"  
I roll my eyes, "Stop the stupid metaphors and move your ass to the bed.", I say and am surprised at the almost playful tone in my voice.

Ian smirks and goes to the bedroom. I sigh. Okay, this is really happening.  
"Are you coming?" Ian asks.  
"Hope I will soon" I mutter before going after him.

I close the door behind me.  
"Hey, if you're too nervous or not ready we don't have to do this, Mick."  
"I know I don't have to do it, I want to"  
Ian grins at me and pulls me to him to kiss me.

"You want me?", he whispers between our kisses.  
"Yes"  
"Did you think about me fucking you the last week? About me putting my cock up your ass?"  
"Yes" I mutter and impatiently start to take his jacket and shirt off, "Thought a lot about it. Made me hard every time."  
Ian helps me taking his shirt off and immediately goes to taking my shirt off as well.  
"Did you jerk off to the thought of me fucking you?" He asks dirtily.  
I bite my bottom lip and kiss him instead of answering. I unbutton his jeans and push him on the bed.

I open my own jeans and take them off, he pushes his jeans down and throws them through the room. I lean over him to kiss him again. He grabs my ass with his big hands and pushes me down against him.  
"I bet you did" he mutters, "because I did"

I grind my ass against his dick, he is hard already. He moans into my mouth and almost tears my boxers as he forces them down. I am surprised about how much this horny, determined almost aggressive behaviour turns me on.

He turns us around, about throws me on the mattress and pushes me up into the pillows.  
He kisses me passionately and I gently pull on his red hair.

He pushes himself up from me.  
"Fuck" he mumbles and gets up from the bed. I look at him confused, he gets his jeans and roams through his pockets until he finds a condom and comes back.

"Do you have lube?", he pants.  
I nod and open the drawer next to my bed to get the lube out.  
Ian laughs when he takes the bottle.  
"Did you just buy it for this?"  
I shrug, "Problem with that?"  
He grins and shakes his head.

He's naked by now too.  
He coats his fingers in lube and I feel them at my hole, he circles his fingers around it.  
"I'll go easy on you, don't worry" Ian smirks.  
I just scoff. I want him, I want all of him. Now.

He pushes his finger into me. Holy fuck.  
I try not to tense up at the foreign feeling.  
It feels weird and new... but good.

I bite my bottom lip he watches every reaction of mine.  
He pushes his finger in and out of me, I sigh deeply, I slowly adjust to the feeling, it gets better.

Ian grins and kisses me. He kisses down my neck and and I feel his hot breath against my neck.  
He adds another finger.  
I moan and run my hand through his red hair. I pull his head up to me to kiss him again. My other hand is around my own dick, jerking myself off to his touches, he rubs his erection against my body.

"Come on, I want more than just fingers, fuck me" I mumble against his lips.  
"Slowly, don't want to hurt you, need to prep you first, make sure you're comfortable with this before I put my dick up that amazing ass."

He gives me time to adjust, thrusts his fingers in and out of me, kisses me playfully, sucks on my neck, kisses me harder.  
He feels so good. I can only imagine how good his cock will feel.

"Fuck me Ian", I pant.  
He nods and pulls his fingers out of me. He is horny and impatient. He quickly opens the condom and pulls it down, he almost hastily covers his cock in lube, one hand still roams my body as if he can't get enough of touching me.

He positions between my legs and pushes them up to have better access. He stops before pushing into me and looks at me from above.  
"Get the fuck on with it" I smirk.  
He grins at me and pushes into me, I can tell that he does his best to restrain himself and go slow.

I throw my head back and moan. He runs his hands over my thighs and pushes deeper into me.  
When he is fully placed inside of me, he leans down again and we pant at each other.

"You good?" He whispers.  
I bite my bottom lip.  
He is big and feels slightly uncomfortable. But it's good, I just need some time to adjust, but I like that strange feeling of being filled up this way.

I nod as sign that he can go on and kiss him while he pulls back out to the tip and pushes back in. I moan into his mouth. Fuck, this is good. He does it again and again, pushes me deeper into the mattress and kisses me passionately while going faster.

I love every second of this. He gets faster and I let out short, loud moans. He kisses my lips and my neck, gently bites down on my shoulder and sucks a mark on the other side.

He gets less controlled by the minute.  
I enjoy it even more in this pace, I enjoy him being wild and his hands touching and groping me almost roughly - but still passionately and I feel so secure with him, I know he would go slower or gentlier if I ask him to.

He's so amazing.  
I feel his big cock sliding in and out of me and it's the most intense feeling I ever felt.  
I notice that he tries to thrust into me in different angles.  
Suddenly, I feel him hitting a spot inside of me that feels better than anything I ever felt before, I let out a particularly loud moan. Ian chuckles against my skin.

"Right there, huh?" He teases.  
"Yeah, fuck, do it again, please"  
Ian thrusted up into the spot again. I hook my legs around his waist, pull him closer with my legs and he fucks me in a quick pace, hitting tat spot every time. I kiss him lustfully and I'm sure I will never get enough of this.

He moans as well, letting me know he wants me and likes this. I feel that I'm close to coming.  
"Fuck, I'm coming" Ian moans.  
"Dont stop", I pant.

He thrusts into me and gets sloppier by the minute, I can tell that he will come in one or two thrusts. But I'm close too.  
I jerk my dick and kiss him while I come between our bodies.  
I dig my nails into his back while I come and he groans into the kiss. He comes only a minute later.

He lies on top of me, panting heavily, his dick still inside of me.  
We both come down from our highs slowly.

We don't say anything for a few minutes, just enjoying the company of the other.  
Eventually he pulls out of me, throws the condom into the bin and comes back to me. He kisses me again, slow and gentle.

"That was amazing" he smiles.  
I nod, "fucking hell" I mumble and chuckle when I look at him, "Best sex I ever had."  
"You just had girls before right?"  
I nod and couldn't believe I waited this long to try it with a guy.

Ian took a tissue from next to the bed and cleaned me off.  
I sit up, "So", I grin, "How about Pizza and Black Mirror?"  
Ian smiles, "Sounds perfect. We could take a shower together while we wait for food though"  
"I order the pizza, you can wait under the shower for me"  
Ian smirked and pecked my lips before leaving the bed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It goes on like this.  
We meet up often, sometimes also with other friends, go out for drinks or to the movies.

We have the best, passionate sex and make out sessions. There seems to be no down side to this.

Today, Ian and I meet up again. I open the door for him.  
He smiles as soon as he sees me, I like that smile a lot.  
He comes in and pecks my lips like every time we see each other.

It's such a weird thing to do, isn't it? Greeting each other with a kiss. I don't know why we do it, but I take every opportunity I get to kiss him.

We sit down on the couch. We just started binging a new tv show together the other day.  
Soon after putting the show on, he yawns.

"That boring?" I tease.  
"No, sorry, just tired."  
"Hard day at work?"  
"Double shift", he mumbles.  
"Oh", I bite my bottom lip, I feel like an asshole because I was asking him to come over again and again today to watch the show.  
"But it's alright, I like spending time with you", he smiles and kisses my cheek.

"If you're tired we don't have to watch it. We can just go to bed", Ian spends the night rather often at my place. At least three or four out of seven nights. I can't complain. My roommate doesn't complain either since Ian often brings food when he comes over. Apparently my apartment is closer than his house to his station, but really, I like to think he comes here to spend time with me.

Of course we also sleep in one bed, nothing else would make sense and it's the perfect way to get morning fucks or multiple rounds in the evening out of him. And being cuddled by him at night is nice.

Ian shakes his head and just lies down, he puts his head on my lap.  
I smile down at him and grab a blanket from the back of the sofa to drape it over him.  
"I'm not gonna carry you to the bed" I say.  
"Not strong enough?", he teases.  
"No, you're fat" I smirk, "Too many pizzas, huh?"  
"You're mean. You didn't seem to complain when my fat cock was up your ass yesterday."

Before I can answer, the apartment door opens. It's my roommate Dave. He stops in the door and looks at us, Ian's head in my lap.  
He raises and eyebrow and comes in, closed the door behind him.

"Hi guys" he says seemingly confused.  
"Hey."  
"Am I interrupting something?"  
"No" I shrug.

Being at this level of intimacy with Ian is normal for me, so I don't understand Dave's confusion at first.  
Maybe he can't understand that as a straight guy I can still have a good friend sleeping on me or in my bed.

Dave just nods and goes to his room, looking back at us a few times, still puzzled.

Ian chuckles when Dave closed his door.  
"Hey, that reminds me, do you want to come over to my house for dinner on Saturday?"  
"Dinner?"  
"Yeah, my sister has a new boyfriend and she wants us to meet him so we have a big family dinner, I thought, if I have to go there, even though I couldn't give less shit who my sister bangs, you could at least come with me. At least there is someone interesting at the table for me then.", Ian smirks up at me.  
"Big family dinner doesn't sound like something you bring someone like me to, does it? I'm not family."  
Ian shrugs, "Maybe not, but I spend a lot of time here with you, I like you a lot... so why not come with me. You could meet my siblings and have a good dinner."

I lick my bottom lip, I'm not into meeting new people... But resisting Ian isn't exactly my strongsuit.

I sigh, "I think Dave wanted to force me to go to a party with him on Saturday."  
"Oh. But you hate parties."  
"Yeah, because I don't like meeting new people... How about that: I come with you to that dinner thing and afterwards you come with me to the party and secretly suck me off in a bathroom just for the sake of it."

Ian grins up at me, "Really?"  
I roll my eyes and turn my head towards Dave's door.  
"Dave, could you get here for a second?"  
Dave comes out a second later.  
"Huh?"  
"That party you talked about, it's this Saturday, right?"  
"Uhm, yeah, but you said you didn't want to come"  
"Is it okay if I come later together with Ian?"  
Dave shrugs, "Sure. I send you the details to your phone if you want to."  
"Yeah thanks", I turn back to Ian, who smiles at me and pulls me down awkwardly to kiss me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day Ian leaves for work at some point and says goodbye with a kiss just like he greets me with one.  
I smile when I come back to the kitchen where Dave leans against a counter.

"So" he says, "That's why you asked me how to clean up for anal sex like 5 months ago."  
I shrug, my sex life isn't really any of his business.

"And I wondered why you let Ian sleep here all the time. But if he's your boyfriend that of course makes sense."  
I raise an eyebrow at him.  
"Boyfriend? He isn't my boyfriend" I say, how did he come to that conclusion?  
"That looked very much like a boyfriend two minutes ago."  
I shake my head, "Dude, I'm straight."

Dave looks at me, as if he tries to read my face.  
"I really can't tell if you're joking" he says weirded out.  
"Why would I joke about that? I'm straight, I've been always straight."

He crooks his head to the side and opens his mouth, shakes his head and looks at me confused.  
"But you are having sex."  
I roll my eyes, "Just because I let someone fuck me in the ass doesn't mean I'm gay, dude."  
"You're bi then?"  
"No, aren't you listening? Every guy likes it up the ass, we all have that, you know, really good feeling spot there. Not only gay men like it."

"True" Dave nods, "If a woman would stimulate your prostate with a dildo, that wouldn't be gay. But you're getting fucked by a man. An incredibly handsome man. I know at least five other dudes who would give their right hand to be fucked by Ian Gallagher only once! And he's sleeping at your place and you kiss good bye. That's a lot of things, Mickey, but not straight. It's straight up gay."

I shake my head.  
"He is not my boyfriend, I'm not gay. I just have some fun. It's fun getting fucked by him, it feels good to kiss him, I like having him around me. That's why I kiss him, fuck him and have him around me. That doesn't make us boyfriends or not straight."  
"You're delusional." He says and shakes his head, "That's literally my only explanation for this."

"Just because you can't understand it"  
"Yeah, I can't understand it. That's exactly what I'm saying. Does he know that you're 'straight'?" He made airquotes with his fingers.

I shrug, "Why is that important. We are friends, we hang out, we have fun together. Don't make a big deal out of it!"  
"Does he know you're just friends?"  
"Of course he knows!" I roll my eyes, "Now leave me alone. I meet his family on Saturday, I need to mentally prepare for that", I say and go to my room, only hearing Dave stumbling over words that don't come out because he is too freaked out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meeting his siblings turns out to be way more relaxed than I thought. We have a good dinner and a fun night, even though I don't really socialise with anyone but Ian.

Afterwards we go to Dave's party - but only briefly. Ian sucks me off in the bathroom and wants me to dance with him, but I'm not in the mood for that. So We lean against some wall and make out, even though it seems weird to me that we do this in public - but everyone else is too drunk to notice anyways. We end up so horny that we quickly go to my place and almost fuck in the hallway.

Dave continues to refer to Ian as my boyfriend.  
"So, is your boyfriend coming over again today?", he smirks, "Because if you want me to give you some space, I can go to a friends' place for the night."  
"He is not my boyfriend", I say again.  
"Sure.", Dave grins.

I roll my eyes, "Okay, again, for dummies: he is not my boyfriend. I'm straight."  
Dave nods, "Straight as a ruler. One of those bendy rulers for kids."  
"Stop it, Dave. We just have a good connection. And I like being around him. That doesn't mean it's more than two dudes hanging out."

"Then let me ask you something: do you think every straight dude just randomly starts fucking a guy, kisses him and meets his family?"  
I shrug, " Why not?"  
"Because straight guys, by definition, fall in love with girls, not guys."

I scoff, "I'm not in love with him"  
"Oh yes, you are."  
"I'm not."  
"You are head over heels about the man. Can't blame you, he's a god."  
"Watch it!", I growl.

Dave raises an eyebrow.  
"If you're not in love with him and so called 'straight', I guess you wouldn't have a problem if I tried my luck with him, right?"  
"You want to fuck Ian?", alone at the thought my stomach turns. Ian is my friend, not Dave's!

"Everyone wants to fuck Ian, wake up, Mick! And if you don't claim him as boyfriend, other guys will try their luck. In fact, they do all the time. At that party you were at, I witnessed at least 3 dudes flirt with Ian when you weren't around for a moment."  
"Were you one of them?"  
"No, because I know that he's yours."  
"He's not... mine or something like that"

He nods, "And, just out of curiosity, how does it make you feel, to know, that it only takes you to turn your back on Ian, for a bunch of guys to try to get into his pants?"

How does it make me feel? How is it supposed to make me feel?  
I don't fucking like it!  
Why do some faggots think they could touch him and lust after him?

"I can practically read the jealousy off your face", Dave states.  
"Fuck you" I growl, "I'm not jealous."  
"Course not. So if I start flirting with him next time I see him, That's okay for you? If he bangs someone else than you?"  
"Who even says he would bang you?"  
Dave shrugs, "If you're not boyfriends, who says you are the only one he fucks? Maybe he fucks someone else the whole time. Wouldn't you like to know if he does? I mean, if you're not jealous and are oh so straight, of course it shouldn't bother you."

I stare at him. His words make me angry.  
Who does he think he is for confusing me like this?!

~~~~~~~~~~~

In the evening Ian comes over again. My mind is still at the conversation with Dave.  
Ian kisses me like usual.

Damn him, stupid sex god.  
I don't have the nerves for a confused sexuality and feelings I don't want to have.  
"Are you okay?" Ian asks, I must have zoned out for a moment.

I nod, "I'm want to fuck", I just state and he lets me pull him to my room.

~~~~~~~~~~

I have my head on his shoulder.  
Fuck, he even smells good.  
His hand is on my back, caressing my skin slowly.

Are we maybe more than just friends who have fun every once in a while?  
Does he think we are boyfriends? Are we boyfriends?  
I admit, our behaviour isn't exactly 100% platonic.  
So maybe not every straight guy enjoys having sex with a male friend every once in a while. Does that change anything about my sexuality?  
Am I even attracted to girls anymore?  
Am I gay? Bi?

I remember, how Dave said, many guys would give their right hand to fuck Ian.  
He really is hot.  
His lips are soft and his hands are warm and big and it feels good when he's rough and wild and passionate and creates hickeys and marks and he feels good when he's soft and affectionate and gentle, when he kisses me and holds me.

I would say, we are connected in a special way, we like each other a lot. But what is there actually?

"Ian?", I mumble.  
"Yes?'  
"Would you fuck Dave?"  
"Dave? Your roommate?"  
"Yes."  
"No. Why would I fuck him?"  
I shrug.

"At the party" I say after a while, "Did some guys flirt with you?"  
"Yeah"  
"Huh"  
"Why are you asking?"  
"Just curious. Dave said something like that. About everyone being all over you."

"Possible, I don't know. I only had eyes for you" Ian grins and kisses my forehead.  
I turn on my stomach and look up at him.  
"Are you fucking other guys sometimes?", I ask bluntly.  
He looks confused, "What? No, of course not Mickey. Why would I do that? I wouldn't even have the time."

I shrug, "Had a talk with Dave today that I can't really shake."  
"Did he say I fuck other guys?"  
"He asked me if I'd be jealous if you fucked other guys Or if guys flirt with you."  
"Why does he care?"  
"He calls you my boyfriend"

There it is, there we have it. Let's see his reaction to that word.

He smiles at me, "Aren't I your boyfriend?"  
I blink a few times down at him.  
"Are you?" I ask.  
He chuckles nervously, "I thought I was."  
"And I thought I was straight, I guess one of us is wrong."

Ian laughs, "Come on Mick. You're not straight. You love cock way too much be straight."  
I bite my bottom lip. I really love cock. I love sucking his cock, I love being fucked by his cock.  
"Maybe you're right..." I mumble.

Ian grins, "So... do you want to be my boyfriend?"  
I smile, "Yeah"  
He grins and pulls me up to kiss me passionately.

"Just for the record, you didn't fuck anyone but me in the last month's, right?" Ian asks.  
"Course not" I smile and kiss him again, "Ready for round two?"  
Ian chuckles and pulls me on top of him properly, so I can ride him.

Okay, maybe I'm not as straight as I thought.


End file.
